INTRODUCTION
Chicken Soup For The Haley Scarnato Fans Soul: Lessons That I learned from Haley and Why She is my Inspiration. Also includes lessons that other fans have learned from Haley and why she is an inspiration to them.
Just a
Thought
I have so many things I want
to say to her… first and
foremost… that she has done
amazing things this past
year, and I am so proud of
her. I think that there will
be more things to come that
will allow her to have the
opportunity to continue to
grow in her career as a
singer. Remember, that even
though, I don’t know her, I
feel as though I do. I feel
as though once a upon a time
we met somewhere. But I
can’t tell you where that
place was, because it was in
a dream. But if that dream
comes true one day for me, I
will rejoice in so much
happiness, that my heart
will be filled with joy.”
Gitta Ghovanlou
FORWARD BY
THE AUTHOR
MY
INSPIRATION: AND NO CLUE AS
TO HOW THIS HAPPENED… BUT I
AM GLAD IT DID.
This book is
about my inspiration in
life. One person who gave me
the courage to do things
that I never thought I would
do in my wildest dreams. To
someone who brought me the
joy of indulging in another
wonderful talent show and
making me think of something
other than work for once. To
someone who brought the joy
back in hobbies and who
inspired me to take singing
lessons after so many years
of rejection the fact that I
had the voice to learn it.
To Someone who I have
learned many lessons from
and wished I had known of in
the past. To someone who I
always will appreciate and
love regardless of what
people’s opinions are about
me writing this book and
about you. I know what I
feel in my heart about you
and it’s special. It’s fun
to have an admirer at the
age of 29 years old. I love
you for that. You are
someone that I will always
admire and love. So with my
favorite song from Elton
John, I would like to say
this:
YOUR SONG
By: Elton
John
“And you can
tell everybody
This is your
song
It may be
quite simple but
Now that it’s
done
I hope you
don’t mind
I hope you
don’t mind
That I put
down in words
How wonderful
life is
While your in
the world”
Chapter 1
TOP 24 ONLY
THE BEGINNING OF SOMETHING
GREAT
During the
top 24 performances, Haley
really brought it the best
she possibly could. At first
I think everyone was
wondering why she had made
it this far. That was the
last thing on my mind. I
liked her; ever since she
auditioned she was great.
She had showmanship and that
was key to staying in the
competition. She also had
the look, beautiful, sweet,
charming, emotionally
charged young woman, who in
an interesting way, reminded
myself of yours truly. Every
time she cried, or talked I
thought to myself is this
exactly what I would do? Yes
in fact it is exactly what I
would do. I remember having
clients that gave me a hard
time, and how I would react
to them would basically be
by crying my eyes out about
it for at least a few hours.
I would also probably bitch
for about ten minutes and
say things like my god; if
only this guy didn’t have
shit for brains he wouldn’t
even say or do such a thing.
And I remember the guy who
had shit for brains because
he came to me last week for
a massage. All things seemed
just fine; until he asked me
how long have you been doing
this for? I told him 2
years. Later on in the
session he questioned my two
years of working in this
field by saying, are you
sure you have been doing
this for 2 years are you
sure you are not new at
this? I told him if he
wished to discontinue the
session that would be fine
with me. We did just that,
and believe me I had my
reasons for doing what I did
even though my boss thought
I was the wrong thing to do.
But she doesn’t get it… when
someone does that to you,
you have the right to say,
look let’s stop, there is no
need for you to suffer.
Anyhow, I was so upset that
I ended up sitting in the
linen closet crying and
crying because of the
insult. It’s kind of the
same with Haley. People
really questioned her
singing abilities because
she had started at a much
later age than the others.
Haley began to sing at age
12 and most of her
contestant friends began at
age 4 or 2. They all
thought, she can’t sing, why
is she still in the
competition? Well… because
you voted for her. Because
in fact, she has that zing
that makes people fall in
love with her. Not to
mention her charm and smile
which are so beautiful it’s
just so hard to say no to
that face.
Aside from
that Haley knew that she had
the talent to stay in the
competition as long as she
brought it to the stage. On
Tuesday March 13, 2007 she
performed with the rest of
the top 12 singing songs by
Diana Ross. She picked
“Missing You”. I felt that
she started off really well
and her voice was well
controlled. But then she
forgot her words, which to
me really didn’t mean that
she did a bad job, it really
didn’t mean anything to me.
I felt that the overall
performance was good and
that her song choice was
great too. I really loved
how she came out there, in a
beautiful purplish dress
that went down to her knees,
a pair of purple pumps, and
lovely hair extensions, and
make up. I felt as though I
was mesmerized with her
beauty and her soulful ness,
that I couldn’t help but
want to see much more of a
performance like that from
her. Thank god I did.
Because the theme of next
week’s show, proved that she
deserved to be in that top
12. During the top 11
British Invasion weeks on
American Idol, she dazzled
the judges and the audience
with her rendition of “Tell
Him.” In this performance
she really turned on her
girlish charm, and plenty of
sex appeal. Regardless of
how great the song choice
was and her vocals that
night, she gave the overall
performance much more than a
here I am singing this song
because I picked it and have
to because its my job. She
instead really took that
song, and was able to act
out the part as though she
was performing in a musical
production. Everything from
the song choice to the
outfit really brought the
house down. I was so proud
of her that night; I thought
along with (I am sure a lot
of other people mostly men
but some woman), that her
sex appeal really came out
quite a bit in this
performance. But it wasn’t
done in a way that was gross
or raunchy, it was tasteful,
fun, and enjoyable for the
audience, which is, what a
performance should be. I
guess all these years of
being a wedding singer
really paid off hey? After
that performance it was the
presses turn to say things
about her that really didn’t
make a whole lot of sense to
me. But I guess everyone
feels that they want to have
their say in life whether
it’s good or bad. And like
Don Miguel Ruiz writes in
his book The Four
Agreements: Agreement
number 2 “Don’t Take It
Personally: Nothing others
do is because of you. What
others say and do is a
projection of their own
reality, their own dream.
When you are immune to the
opinions and actions of
others, you won’t be the
victim of needless
suffering.” And let me
tell you there have been
some real bashing things
said about her, but you know
what, as my sister says they
are probably unhappy. And
they are also so jealous and
they feel that taking it out
on another person is the way
to go, especially someone as
sweet, laidback and easy
going as she is, and that
makes for an easy target. I
feel that in that way we are
similar because people have
taken advantage of me for
being so nice and its just
in these couple years that I
have learned how to not let
them take advantage of me.
The next
theme night was Gwen Stefani
night and artist who
inspired her. Artists such
as: Cyndi Lauper, The Cure,
The Pretenders, Donna
Summer, and the Police.
Haley picked Cyndi Lauper
Song “True Colors”. I
thought that Gwen was right
when Haley was practicing
her performance with Gwen,
that if she just sang it
with as much control and
great pitch, then people
will really enjoy listening
to her sing that song. And
after that performance, many
people have enjoyed hearing
her sing that song.
Including yours truly.
Coming to the performance
portion of the song, I felt
that she started off great
until she hit the middle
part of the song. But all in
all, she really did
wonderfully with the song
overall and once again she
looked wonderful doing it.
People really remember what
and how you perform in this
life, and if you can deliver
a song well on a competition
like that. The next week was
American classics, featuring
Tony Bennet. Haley picked
the song “Ant Misbehavin”,
originally sung by Ella
Fitzgerald. I thought that
out of all the performance
(aside from “Tell Him”, and
“True Colors”) that that was
one of her best performances
by far. I really thought the
song was made for her voice
and made for her style of
singing. She has that voice
for jazz, country, and broad
way type songs. So I felt
that she really brought it
the most that night. She
really got robbed on the
show to me, she really
wasn’t able to show her
true colors and instead
had to play a role given to
her by the producers. By
Latin week which was the
last week that she
performed, she picked a song
I felt that really didn’t
fit her at all. She picked
Turn The Beat Around,
originally sung by Vicky Sue
Robinson, and covered by
Gloria Este fan. To me she
didn’t deliver the song well
at all, and she seemed to
swallow her words often
during the performance. She
looked good singing the song
though but I felt that Simon
especially didn’t have to
just smack her down about
the outfit she wore and
saying that “ I think you
have a very good tactic here
Haley, wear as little
clothes as possible, because
you won’t be able to get
through the competition
based on your voice. Well,
that was nice Simon thanks
buddy, what other wonderful
words of wisdom do you have
to say about my outfit and
me? You got shit for brains
my friend get a life, and
that guy at the farmers
market that Ryan was
interviewing and asking him
who is favorite contestant
was and this big fat stupid
guy said, I like the girl
who runs around in short
shorts, she gives me a hard
on, I love to watch her on
TV, play with myself while
she’s performing, well I
wish you would put on some
short shorts and sing in
front of the AI audience and
people would comment about
how they love to look at you
in those short shorts and
high heels goof. God I hate
people like that they make
me sick to my stomach. Can
you say anything else
besides the fact that she
gives you that special
feeling in that special
place buddy?
“How many
roads must a man walk down?
Before you can call him a
man? The answer my friend is
blowing in the wind, the
answer is blowing in the
wind.” Bob Dylan
Chapter 2
The First
Moment That I Noticed Her
“This ones
for the girls. Whoever had a
broken heart, who’ve wished
upon a shooting star, you’re
beautiful the way your are.”
Martina McBride.
American
Idol: the season 6 phase:
The Texan Who Got Me Hooked.
After many
years of rejecting that
American Idol ever existing
in my life, a revelation
occurred. Just this past
January I turned into what I
like to call an American
idol die-hard fan. This
happened because of a number
of reasons. The first, I
thought that the show was
excellent and deserved a
viewing chance, and the
other happened to be a young
woman from San Antonio Texas
named Haley Scarnato. Yes
friends… it was all her
fault. She was the one
contestant that I became so
smitten by I couldn’t help
myself. Each day and night
it seemed like I wanted to
learned more and more about
this young woman who wanted
to make it big in the music
industry. A woman who had
the charm and personality of
an already professional
singer and when it came to
bringing her point of view
across to others and being
in front of that camera, the
girl was a natural, I loved
it. All the things that a
die-hard fan could possibly
do for their favorite
contestant, I did. I joined
the website community at
haley-scarnato.org, got a
You Tube account, and
decided my space would be
fun too. All and all I
turned myself into one of
those people that I have
been longing to become, a
fun loving individual who
wanted to support her
favorite contestant in any
way possible and I was proud
of it. I would write letters
to her, lots of letters
while the whole gang went on
a tour for the summer. While
they engaged in hours of
interviews, phone
conversations with
producers, and singing in
concerts night after night,
and if that wasn’t enough,
after the concert fans would
line up in front of stadiums
just to meet and greet their
favorite contestant, and
tell them I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
OH MY GOSH. I never got a
chance to tell her that on
the 9th of
September, when she came to
Washington D.C. But in my
heart I figured, that
someday I would be able to
tell her in person how much
I love her.
She also gave
me the opportunity to take
risks in life. Risk such as
writing this book and
ignoring what opinions
others have about it,
because I am not writing it
for them, but instead for
her. I realized that after
all these years I do have a
great voice and should learn
to sing. She also helped me
to enjoy most moments in my
life and take the annoying
people with a grain of salt
and shot of tequila, and
teaching me that if you cant
be yourself? Then who can
you be? She also gave me the
courage to always stand up
for myself and what I
believe in, and always under
any circumstances, do my
best. Like Don Miguel Ruiz
writes in his book The Four
Agreements: Agreement number
4 :
Always Do
Your Best, “Your best is
going to change from moment
to moment, it will be
different when your are
healthy as opposed to sick.
Under any circumstances,
simply do your best, and you
will avoid self-judgment,
self abuse, and regret.”
I also loved
her for sticking her neck
out in front of Simon during
the top 9 performances when
said that depending on what
mood he’s in, he may either
like me or not. Well, let’s
put it this way, if Simon
isn’t on his damn menstrual
cycle, then I am sure he
will not bother to say
anything but the positive
aspects of the performance.
It’s true, every time he’s
in a bad mood, he lets it
out on others and because
she’s so nice and laid back,
he feels he can take
advantage of her. People
have taken advantage of me
many times because I am
nice. They have said and
done things to me that I
still to this day, wish I
would have stood up for
myself. I remember when I
was working at my massage
school doing massages in the
school’s clinic once a week.
The manager didn’t exactly
have the best reputation
with his fellow colleagues
or with the students. He had
a reputation of getting
angry about every little
thing, and when he was
angry, he would talk to
people in a way that they
wished he was dead. But
anyhow, one day it was my
turn to get insulted by him.
I remember very clearly the
way that he talked to me.
Saying things like your work
is awful and you better
start improving now, and
people who just graduated
are better than you are, and
all kinds of lovely words of
love and wisdom, NOT. He
basically was a complete
jerk that made me think that
he was an overgrown school
boy that still needed his
mommy’s approval for every
little thing, and when he
was in a bad mood make him
some hot chocolate and tell
him that everything is going
to be alright. Somehow, I
still wonder till this day
why he turned on me all of a
sudden but it certainly
taught me how to stand up
for myself. Other times I
felt that I was getting
criticized was when a I was
in Switzerland and doing my
internship serving food at a
hotel’s restaurant. The
owners were a mother and
daughter team who have been
running their own hotel for
quite some time now. While I
was working there I
experienced several problems
with the woman’s mother, who
insisted in running the
practical aspect of the
hotel herself, including
where I was working, the
restaurant. The whole time
that I was there, the woman
literally tried to knock my
confidence down to a lower
than Cesar level and
literally try to get rid of
me, in turn for a Chinese
girl, who doesn’t speak
English, German, or French
for that matter, but would
be a much better worker
because her ability to just
watch and do. That was what
she wanted, the kind of
person who just watched and
did and never spoke up. I
admit, at that time I was
not very good at standing up
for myself, but I really did
grow some balls in the
department of learning not
to trust anyone. I thought
that I could handle myself
and her as long as I just
learned to ignore everything
she said and just did
everything to the best of my
abilities. However, one day
she snapped, she snapped
because I was holding a
couple of wine glasses in
the incorrect form in my
hand. I asked her how she
would like me to hold these
glasses and the minute I
stopped talking, she began
to shout, she began however,
by taking one of the glasses
from her hand, smashing it
on the counter, and yelling
koennen Sie nicht selber
shauen? Meaning, can you
just watch and learn? Well,
no not if you yell at me
every time I try to ask you
a question or snap for no
apparent reason like when I
poured the beer incorrectly
from the tap. I mean no one
in this world wants to get a
degree in beer pouring now
do we? I swear this woman
probably hated me the day
that I walked into that
place and had an interview
with her. And once I got my
foot in, I swear I had the
feeling that my stuff was
being snooped in. I think
she was definitely taken
interest in my journal
because I guess she figure..
that I was writing her and
what an awful, load,
self-absorbed human being
she is. But the truth was I
said no such thing. She felt
that she wanted a different
kind of waitress and for me
that was just fine. I mean
how can I stand living for 6
months in a place where the
post office is only open for
an hour a day because the
person is way too lazy to
work and feels that
unconvincing the folks in
this town is the best route
to go on. I really can’t
stand people who are so
willing to make you feel
like crap because they feel
like crap. Get over yourself
honey, no one wants to hear
your swan song. So yes, with
a brave smile and a sloppy
handshake, I said goodbye to
the terrible woman and was
on my way to other things
like school for six more
months. I guess trying to
find my niche in life and
trying desperately to make
it somehow in this world was
about the same way that
Haley was trying to do. She
said: American Idol was what
I have been working for all
my life. GO Haley, go, you
deserve a record deal and a
national holiday. I wish I
could have a national
holiday, I might have to do
a duel holiday with you
maybe called it Hail to
Haley and Gitta day. Or
something like that. We both
deserve credit for all the
crap that people gave us
don’t we sweetie?
Once I got
out of the internship at
that god awful hotel
restaurant I headed home to
DC for two weeks and then
back on a plane and to
school once again.
Chapter 3
Other
valuable lessons I learned
in my life… and how I wished
I had found Haley Scarnato
sooner.
“You With
Those Sad Eyes, Don’t Get
Discouraged oh I realize,
it’s hard to take courage,
in a world full of people,
you can loose sight of it
all, and the darkness inside
you makes you feel so small.
But I see your true colors
shining through, I see your
true colors and that’s why I
love you. So don’t be afraid
to let them show, your true
colors, true colors, are
beautiful like a rainbow.”
Cyndi Lauper
During my
journey through massage
therapy school I wished that
I had found someone or
something that would get my
mind off of work for at
least a few hours. This was
hard to find, because I felt
that I needed to stay
focused on my job even
though at times I was
getting bored of only
thinking about massage and
other massage related
topics. Once I found a job
outside my school, I was
able to enjoy other things
more frequently, like
meeting and massaging some
really charming clients,
hearing their insults either
to my face, or to a manager.
It really brought so much
warmth to my heart it really
made me feel like the best
human being on this earth. I
was so ticked off at them
for even attempting to make
me mad like that it wasn’t
funny. Its like the heck
with you, you do you think
you are saying such terrible
things to me, and allowing
yourself to receive a free
service for your insults.
Whatever, you stupid small
fry, go find someone else to
pick on, but don’t bring it
to me ever again. Its kind
of how Haley feels when
people don’t have anything
else to say about her other
than the fact that she’s
pretty. I remember I was
reading a blog once, one in
which I found terribly
insulting to anyone,
particularly since it
concerned Haley. Someone had
written, Haley you are
hot, and after seeing what
your fiancé looks like, he
is hot too. I think you
should go back home, make
lots of babies and leave the
singing to the
professionals. Well, who
does this (for lack of a
better word), sorry excuse
for a human being think he
or she is? Do they even
realize that in fact this
girl has a lot going for her
and it doesn’t involve child
rearing? She has a terrific
voice for broad way,
country, and should stick to
singing those types of
songs. I could really see
her take her chance at doing
a broad way musical in the
future. I wish I would have
known who she was a long
time ago. I wish we would
have been friends, or
acquaintances, or something
along those lines. I just
wish I had that rock in my
life a long rather than
having to wait 6 years for
her to come along. I felt
like in those days the only
thing I thought about really
was work and how I needed to
do this and that for work in
order to be successful. I
also never stopped talking
about how I felt everyone
should learn to like
massages when the reality of
it is, that some people will
and some people won’t. A
good person once told me
Some Will, Some Wont, So
What, which means: some
will, some won’t,
so what. If you allow
the opinions and thoughts of
others to take over your
life you might become a
pretty miserable person. Try
to just (as Haley Scarnato
would say) stay true to
yourself.
Haley
Scarnato: “ I think if you
can find your niche in the
competition, it’s the way to
go. I mean it’s almost like
they cast a group of people
as characters ‘cause they
want a good TV show. They
want to pertain to ever
audience member. So,
definitely. It’s just fun.
It’s show business. It’s all
about getting dressed up and
playing a role.”
Life is
definitely a show isn’t it?
I felt like I was playing a
character in own show when I
was in massage school, hotel
school, and at the present
day while I’m working at two
spas one called Elizabeth
Arden, and the other Aroma
Medi Spa. I feel like the
clients what come in are
people who are playing the
role of a particular
character. Somehow, I always
wait for the moment when the
director yells cut!
or its as though the whole
scenario is being set up for
me like in that MTV show
punked where celebrities get
set up into believing that
the situation that has taken
place is in fact real. But
its all a set up. So for it
its like I am waiting for
Ashton Cutscher to show up
and yell you have just
been punked!!! Gosh I would
feel so much better if that
in fact were the case, at
least in most of the
scenarios that I have
experienced. But that’s
life, if you don’t
experience things like that
first hand that are actually
real scenarios, then what’s
the point of the growth
process? As a friend of mine
used to say it takes all
kinds of people to make the
world go round. And she sure
isn’t joking about that.
I remember someone that fits
this description quite well.
Actually, many people that
fit this bill really well.
The first individual came to
me just a couple of weeks
ago for a massage. At the
beginning of the session
(like most sessions that I
conduct) it began with a
quick intake on how she was
doing today and if there are
any particular areas in her
body that are tight or
tense. She said that her
neck, and shoulders were and
that she would like some
work done on those areas but
however, would really enjoy
having an overall relaxation
massage today. With those
words, I did just that.
Things seemed fine and all
until after the session was
over. She walked away happy
or at least I assumed so.
But the reality of it was
that she wasn’t happy and
instead of expressing her
thoughts about the massage
to me, she went straight to
the manager and told her
that she felt that the
massage was one of the worst
massages that she ever had
and that it wasn’t physical
enough. I tell you, if you
need me to change things
around or go deeper or
whatever the concern is, I
ask you to please express
those feelings to me and we
can change things around a
bit. But that was probably
the strangest thing I ever
experienced or at least the
second strangest or third
should I say. After that
initial problem, I figured
that she would go home and
forget all about it. But the
thing was she didn’t. The
next week she showed up once
again to complain some more
about how the massage was so
bad that she felt she had to
go on and on about it like
some stupid little baby or
something. Gosh woman, don’t
you have anything better to
do with your time than to
worry about complaining
about other people? I mean
if I really hurt you then it
would be a different story,
but if you are just trying
to get your money back, then
way in the world did you
come here for a massage when
you know very well that this
place is expensive? Another
one was with a man you
thought that he could get
away with being nasty and
theartening towards me,
asking me questions with at
first I thought nothing of
at all, but as he was
getting into the
conversation with me and
asking me about how long I
have been doing this and how
old I thought he was. I felt
as though something really
strange was happening. Like
when my manager at school
was critizing me to the
point of honest to god
nastiness and rudeness and
speaking to me about the
same way that this guy was.
I tell you, I just don’t get
away from these ridiculous
people. But why is that me
and Haley, two people who
obviously try very hard in
our lives to make it, get
treated like such rubbish
every time we feel that we
are in fact doing some good?
Why? Because we don’t do
things the way other people
do them? Because we are
different? Because we are
who we are and if people
can’t except that then they
should go take a hike and
never come back. But I guess
these situations will
definitely make us stronger
in the long run. Sooner or
later no one will be able to
give us crap anymore,
because we will be able to
stand up for ourselves and
not tolerate this.
Chapter 4
A Haley
Moment Over YouTube… That I
felt lasted forever
“You are
beautiful no matter what
they say, ‘cause words can’t
bring you down. So down you
bring me down today.”
Christina Aguilera
After Haley
got eliminated from the
show, she made an appearance
on the Ellen Degeneres show.
There she was interviewed
about how she felt about
being eliminated, and what
goes through her mind when
the time actually comes to
reveal the person who is
going home? She said that
after being in the bottom 3
for the past few weeks now,
one would expect to be sent
home sooner or later. The
way she talked just drew me
into her more and more. She
really knew how to be
interviewed the way the
professionals are. She
commanded the attention of
the audience and Ellen
herself in a way that I felt
was so stunning, and
beautiful, I felt like
jumping through the computer
and hugging her. I thought,
if only I could be like
that? If only I could be
Haley for just a few minutes
of my life. But then I
thought, I don’t think that
she would like it if I tried
to be someone that I wasn’t
other than myself. And my
friends, that is one of the
things that I really like
about her. That she would
never want you to be anyone
other than you or for her to
be anyone but herself. It’s
the hardest thing for me to
do if you ask me. I have
trouble just being myself
sometimes, I wish I could
not being embarrassed about
who I was just realize that
people are made the way that
they are and there is no
need for me to be
embarrassed. What I mean is
that there are certain
things that I cant do but I
have not excepted the fact
that its going to be tough
for me to do certain things
and not tough for me to do
other things. After talking
to Ellen on the show she
sang her (what I call what
has become her signature
song) True Colors.
Originally written and
performed by Cyndi Lauper
but performed by Haley
Scarnato. The next TV
appearance that I got a
chance to see was on Idol
Tonight. She was one of the
special guests for the
night, and I didn’t forget
to tune in. In fact, I made
sure not to miss it. On the
show she talked about the
latest idol performances and
what she was up to since
getting voted off. She was
able to once again command
the audience at home and at
the studio was just
absolutely wonderful. She
was expressing and bringing
out her true feelings about
everything on the show and
the contestants as well as
bringing out her wonderful
sense of humor that I didn’t
really know that she had up
until that time. She really
made me laugh pretty hard
that night. And the way she
looked once again was
unforgettable. Baby, you got
it sweetness. That was
probably one of my favorite
interviews that she did,
that and the Ellen Show. I
thought that if I ever got a
chance to interview her for
my book, then I hope that
she brings those qualities
to the interview.
Many more
interviews that captured my
heart
Haley did an
interview a while back for
the TV guide channels Water
cooler Show, a show where
they talk about the latest
buzz in Hollywood as well as
the last American Idol
castoff. In this case, it
was Haley’s turn to turn on
her Italian/Texan charm and
dish out what she thought
was the Water cooler buzz of
her time on American Idol.
Of course, it was the legs
that everyone has fallen in
love with especially the
men. But she revealed
however, that in fact it was
all about the make up. Do I
believe her? Well first off
I think that she has great
legs no matter what make up
they but on them. I feel
that she shouldn’t be
embarrassed about having
great legs at all. She can
still be a talented singer
and half the asset of great
legs to go along with it.
This may not have anything
to do with body parts but it
is on the topic of
embarrassment. For a long
time, I denied that I had a
great singing voice, I felt
that it really didn’t mean
anything great if I wasn’t a
famous singer and not making
lots of money. Instead, my
ambition was to learn the
guitar which I have learned
and continue to learn, but
for some reason I was
embarrassed to sing in front
of anyone and I didn’t want
to have anything at all to
do with learning to sing.
But just recently, I was
able to really say admit it,
you have a good voice and
you should learn to sing. So
with that said and my
embarrassment gone, because
of this fabulous young
woman, I signed myself up
for singing lessons and have
never enjoyed myself more. I
am glad that I am proud of
my good voice and I am glad
that she inspired me and
influenced me to want to go
for it. In the interview she
sounded so grounded and
honest about what her goals
were for the next few months
before the tour started. She
said that she wanted to go
home, plan her wedding, and
possibly get a record deal.
I was She also said that
wining the competition to
her is so far fetched that
she really didn’t want to
make that her goal. I was so
proud of her, the way she
talked she was so
professional and determined
to tell American Idol fans
that she was going to never
give up her dream of
becoming a successful
recording artist. The other
things that I noticed during
the interview was seeing a
side of her that I felt that
I have always enjoyed
seeing, a sweet, determined,
, eyes, that smile, that
sexiness, that girl that
said, I am going to see if
this is my chance today. And
I wont settle for anything
less. That’s my girl… that’s
why I love her.
“Without you there’s no
change, my nights and day
are gray. If I reached out
and touched the rain it just
wouldn’t be the same.
Without you I’d be lost, I’d
slip down from the top I’d
slide down so low girl,
you’d never, never know.
Without you, without you a
sailor lost at sea; without
you, woman, the world come
down on me. “ Motley Crue
Sometimes
when I am feeling unhappy,
or lost, I think about what
Haley would say to all that.
What would Haley do? How
would she react? Would she
get angry at herself or
would she get angry at
herself but then realize
later that she has done her
best and that’s all that
really matters. I think like
most people she may be
disappointed but then she
might realize, I have come
this far, and that to me is
a blessing. That seems to be
her line all the time in
interviews and I for one
really like it. What she is
saying is that she is
thankful that she has been
given the opportunity to be
on American Idol and be
surrounded by wonderful and
talented people and also
that she has had the
opportunity to work with
some great singers and
songwriters. This sort of
thing doesn’t happen to all
of us in this life you know,
only those select few that
carry the singing ability.
And are able to withstand to
all the criticism from Simon
and the other judges, not to
mention the media and the
idol fans. So sometimes when
I feel like I am about to
loose my nerve, I think
about what she might say…
WWHD? I am making t shirts
so that all her fans can
purchase them. Just kidding.
An example of a time when I
should have followed this
particular advice was the
time when I took an interior
design class in college. I
thought at that point that
this was going to be my
career and that nothing
would stop me from following
that dream. However, things
didn’t turn out that way. As
I came to see it drawing a
straight line in order to
make a house stay up
straight was difficult for
me. I was more the creative
artist not the kind of
person who could take
measurements of a sketch and
imitate it. That was hard.
Anyhow, I remember this one
time when I was in design
class and my instructor gave
us an assignment which I
found somewhat difficult. I
unfortunately don’t remember
the assignment well but it
had a lot to do with
measurements and all sorts
of other design related
stuff. Anyhow, he noticed
that I was having a hard
time and instead of me
saying could you please help
me out thank you, I yelled
at him and said look I can
do this myself. I swear I
thought I was no good
anymore because he noticed
that I needed help. I also
thought I was no good
because, I wasn’t able to do
this simple exercise. I felt
so bad that day that I
walked out of that class
crying my eyes out. He
pretty much hinted to me
from there that I should
drop the class. It wasn’t
worth the frustration and
the suffering on my part. So
with that said that was
exactly what I did. This was
definitely a moment where I
wish I would have known of
Haley. I wish I would know
what her opinion was of all
this. I wonder just what she
would say if I told her I
was so upset with myself I
felt like crawling in a
ditch and never coming out
again. I really wonder what
she would say. The answer is
worth finding out. But from
what I have observed, she
wouldn’t give up her dream
of becoming a recording
artist, she would not give
up her dream of making it
big in the music industry.
What was I doing that? Why
was I giving up my dream
for. Maybe it really wasn’t
my dream? Turns out, it sure
the heck wasn’t at all. I
can remember a dozen other
times when I felt I wish
Haley was known to me. For
example: just recently I
felt so depressed and angry
with myself as though no one
liked me anymore and I for
one didn’t really like
myself much either. I really
don’t know how all of this
got started but I wish I
did. I don’t know what drew
me to the notion that I
didn’t like myself and no
one else liked me. But the
fact is people wont like you
unless you like yourself.
Sometimes I feel that if
only Haley were here to give
me advice and of course, if
she ever needed mine, I
would be so happy to help
her with whatever it was
that she needed help with.
Again, its WWHD? I am sure
there were many times during
her run on American idol
that she felt bad about
herself. And it was n not
just during the top 12
performances but also during
top 16. During the top 16
performances Haley performed
Faith Hill’s song If My
Heart Had Wings. To me I
didn’t think it stank, I
just wasn’t thrilled about
the performance that much
that’s all. But anyhow the
judges basically gave her
for once, advice that really
did sink in. They mostly all
said that it wasn’t the best
performance that she did.
She felt that she had done
her thing, she clocked in
and clocked out, and that
was that. I’m sure she felt
a little bad about the
comments they made, but at
least she realized that they
were being honest, however,
don’t down grade her singing
abilities, that just wrong.
The woman is talented, she
has a good voice, so it’s a
bit cabaret but she is
talented. I’m sure she
wished that the judges would
have given her more respect
in many other performances
that she did on the idol
stage. Like for example:
Tony Bennet week, I like
Tony Bennet and all but
please dissing Haley to her
face like that because she
put in one too many you and
you is really stupid. In my
opinion I felt like Randy,
that that was her week. That
kind of broadways type music
is right up her alley along
with country music. Which
she didn’t get a chance to
perform at all because by
the time country week came
she was already eliminated.
When the tour started it was
Haley’s turn to prove
herself country style, and
let me tell you people
finally noticed that country
music was her style and I
for one noticed it as well.
I felt that she really had
the voice of many country
artists including Martina
Mcbride and sort of Faith
Hill mixed in with a non
country singer Celine Dion.
I am glad that she finally
lost that whole leg thing
for once and that people
realized that yeah she a
really beautiful girl but
also on the inside. A
reporter from Reality Dish
said it best I thank him so
much for it, he said that
Haley was the most beautiful
woman that he ever
interviewed and that he was
glad to find out that her
personality shines through
as well. Thank god for folks
like him, I would like to
give this man a hug and
kiss. Anyhow, to get to the
rest of my point of the
topic I sometimes,
especially now a days wish
to god that I was better
than the person I am
sometimes. Its been taught
the last few months for me
and I wish I knew how to
make it better. It could be
that I am so scared to be
turning 30 or it could be
just that I am not realizing
all the good things that I
did instead of focusing on
the negative. She really
lifts me up when I am down.
All I have to do is listen
to a song of hers, listen to
an interview on you tube or
just see her face and all of
a sudden I am so happy and
my bad thoughts about myself
and feeling that I am not a
good enough person, go away
completely. Its amazing how
one person is so influential
in your life, but I love it,
it’s the best feeling in the
world to have a person that
you hardly know personally
and be so taken by her. She
is just such an amazing
human being and I take it
that I am not alone in my
thinking this way. In a
previous article about
Haley, a woman by the name
of Melissa Fletcher Stoeltje
wrote a wonderful piece on
what the people closet to
her think of her. She first
interviewed a man that has
known Haley for many years
and has performed with her
during her time at the
Josephine Theatre’s
Showstoppers Academy of
Musical Theatre. His name
was Peter Morlett and he
described Haley or to say
the real Haley has a Carroll
Burnett, type of person. He
then said that she has this
amazing energy, a great
sense of humor, and is
someone who loves to joke
around. I guess I am not
alone when I describe Haley
to other people. That in
fact in my eyes she is all
those things and some. That
she is sweet, funny,
energetic, a has one of the
biggest hearts out there.
She also has a radiance
about her that I love so
much, a kind of glow on and
off the stage. A warmth, an
honesty, all the qualities
of an American Idol
contestant that I love. She
really makes me want to be
the best possible person
that I can be. And sometimes
I fail so miserably at it. I
feel so often in my job,
(like most people do) that
my work is sometimes not
good enough, that I felt
that I could have done
better. But its what I could
give at that point in time.
And the reality of it is,
that not everyone is going
to like my massages, kind of
like not everyone isn’t
going to like chocolate or
Haley for that matter. But
she knows I love her. Girl
you have know idea what you
have done for me, you are
truly the wind beneath my
wings.
Chapter 5
So just what
has Haley done for me?
To describe
in words the impact that she
has had on me, is just
incredible. She has shown me
so much and sometimes I
think that I am not growing
but the truth is that I am
growing and many people have
seen a change in me in the
past year I just don’t
understand why I don’t see
the growth myself? Well
maybe its about time that I
should see the growth in me.
There is no reason why I
shouldn’t see my progress
myself. Think of all the
good stuff that you’ve done
and forget the bad. Forget
the insults, remember
compliments that you
receive. Well here are the
many compliments that I have
received and I am proud of
them. You have a good sense
of humor, you have a big
heart, you are smart, you
are a good cook. Play good
tennis, pretty on the inside
and out. You have nice
hands, that one is my most
favorite compliment that any
one has ever given me. I
know that sounds silly but I
really like people giving me
compliments on my hands. I
truly enjoyed the article
that I read about Haley from
the Foxrealitytv.com
website. It was right down
sweet and kind of gave us a
new and fresh take on Haley
and what she’s really like
and from the people that
know her the best. At least
for once people stopped the
whole she gives me a hard on
crap and talked about what a
neat and loving gal she is.
I Otherwise, she will never
know how I feel.
Chapter 6
A Couple Of
True Seinfeld Moments .
Everyone has a little bit of
Seinfeld in them, and these
were my moments. I made a
smuck out of myself for you.
The funniest
stories I have to tell
because I want her to know
how much effort I have made
for her as one of her
biggest fans. I tell you I
felt like I was a teenager
again waiting for Guns N’
Roses to perform live and
just waiting for me to have
an emotional experience of
some sort. The day that it
felt like one of those
moments was on September 9,
2007 when I attended the
American Idol Live Tour
concert at the Verizon
Center. I was waiting for
the next singer to come out,
and of course low and
behold, it was Haley
Scarnato. So like a 13 year
old girl again, I screamed
to the top of my lungs and
couldn’t believe that Haley
was here performing live in
front of me. As though she
was doing a private show
just for moi. I felt as if I
was at this concert hall and
they had made special
arrangements by security for
me to see Haley all by my
lonesome self. It was funny
because I could just imagine
a hick like security guard
character walking up to me
named Dottie or Billy Bob
and saying in a southern
accent of sorts, Ya Gitta
hey, ya her’ da see Haley
ar’n ya? Yes I am I am so
excited, com’ with me Ms.
Gitta. Youse got fron’ row
seat, it great. And then
finally the private show
started and there she was
singing and dancing and
having fun, and then at the
end of the show we sang a
solo together and no one
clapped but we had a great
time. That is literally how
I felt for about 3 minutes
and 25 seconds. It all went
by so super fast. But it was
definitely a Seinfeld moment
to me. Thank God for moments
like these, what would we do
without them. Other Seinfeld
moments that included Haley
for the 8 results shows that
she was on. Every time she
was in bottom 3 I would say
oh no, she might just be
going home tonight. But once
the announcement came that
in fact she was safe, I
yelled as screamed as though
the Redskins had just scored
a touchdown other something.
As though I was in my own
world again dreaming of
victory only this was
Haley’s touchdown, she was
playing for the Washington
Redskins and she had just
ran a touchdown after
receiving a pass from Jordin
Sparks, then with her mighty
long legs she scored!!! She
then of course didn’t forget
to sing and dance once she
was standing on the
touchdown spot. And I was
the rowdy fan in the crowd
wearing a Redskin jersey
with Scarnato # 1 written on
the back. And then if that
wasn’t crazy enough I jumped
right into the stadium and
hugged her and hugged her as
though I was stealing the
moment away from her.
Anyhow, I know all of this
sound a bit weird but this
is the feeling that I had
each time I cheered my
favorite girl on the show. I
couldn’t bare to see her get
voted off yet, she needed to
last for a least one or two
more weeks. She was my
favorite and I would do
anything to have a favorite
stay on the show. Other
moments that I felt this way
were when I found out that
she was singing in San
Antonio on Sunday October
21, 2007. I was like
wouldn’t it be exciting if I
found a real cheap air
ticket and went to see her
perform live again on stage?
I dreamed of what it would
be like to do that. I
thought about sitting in the
front row of the dance hall
how Texan with all them
peoples in their Sundays
best. Sitting a watching
Haley together and striking
up a conversation with some
random person. Then after
the show I would have the
opportunity of a lifetime to
meet her in person. It would
have been great. My other
Seinfeld moments included
during British Invasion
week, you see in case you
are not familiar with
American Idol each week the
contestants have to perform
a particular type of music
from a particular time
period or an artist. Anyhow,
this particular week was
British Invasion week, the
date March 20, 2007. I
remember watching it at my
grandmas house. I was
gathered in a comfortable
chair waiting for her to
perform. Low and behold, she
was up first, great, they
showed her in rehearsals and
then she began the song.
Singing Tell Him originally
sung by Billie Davis in
1965, wearing a halter top,
short shorts, and cute
pumps, and her hair in a
ponytail. I thought to
myself she looks really cute
tonight, even beautiful for
that matter. I was watching
Haley perform that song in
pure excitement waiting and
waiting to see what she
would do next. She really
worked the audience with the
song, turning on her girlish
charm and her experience as
a wedding singer shined
through big time. Anyhow, at
the end of the song, I
clapped and screamed so loud
and jumped up and down in my
seat I was so happy for her.
I screamed so loud I think
the neighbors next door must
of heard me. It was really
funny. Well that’s it for
the Seinfeld moments. I
guess once in a while its ok
to make a total and complete
schmock out of yourself.
Those were the moments. But
as long as you do it in the
privacy of your own home,
then its really ok. No one
sees it but you and no one
really did see it but me.
Chapter 7
Why you ask
is she my hero, and my
inspiration in the first
place?
Well, some
people think its strange
when they think of an
American Idol, and a grown
woman being so influenced by
Haley Scarnato, and really
having totally different
backgrounds. Yeah we do have
totally different
backgrounds, but we share
one thing, we love music, we
love to sing. She may do it
professionally, and I may do
it as a hobby but its still
having something in common.
She is just one of those
people I have always
admired. Admired, because
she isn’t afraid to be
different. I was afraid to
be different a lot of my
life, but now that I am
older and a bit wiser, I am
not as afraid to be
different at all. Like the
saying says, it takes all
kinds of people to make the
world go round. And that’s
the truth. No one or two
people can be the same as
the other. I liked Haley
because she stood out from
the crowd, because she was
different, because she
wasn’t trying to fit the
norm of the typical American
Idol contestant, she was
striving to be different.
She was striving to be her
own special artist and
produce and create her own
style of music and not live
up to this ridiculous you
have to be this way in order
to be on American Idol
otherwise crew you. I mean
the whole point of the show
is to not only find
undiscovered artists, but to
also find the ones that are
unique and different. Other
reasons why I admire her is
because she has a certain
zing that I have always been
in taken by, a zing on
stage, a command of the
stage, able to work the
crowd very well with her
stage presence, she is a
show woman and a darn good
one. Let’s face it, she’s
attractive too, so people
obviously like to look at
someone who pretty but not
just on the outside, she has
beauty on the inside also.
She’s sweet, warm, has a
great sense of humor, and is
nice. But I have to admit
that I didn’t notice what a
good sense of humor she had
until she took the top 12
stage. I remember each
contestant was picked to
receive a question from
viewers at home. What is the
most crazy place that you
have performed? She said
well here. I mean coming
from a small stage, to this
huge stage is quite a
transition and everyone back
stage is nervous, and
drinking water and just a
mess. After her performance
in where she missed her
words, she was asked by Ryan
how she felt right at that
very moment, she answered,
well I feel like such a
smuck, She got the crowd
laughing on that one and I
for one thought it was funny
too. I tell you I admire
people who mess up and come
back the next week strong.
She doesn’t give up, I don’t
want to ever give up either,
even though there are times
when I do. She gives me the
strength to carry on and
find something good out of
something bad. She is a
smart girl, and that is also
another reason why I like
her so much. She has shown
me the right way to make
decisions verses the wrong
way. And its just by the
interviews that she does and
by the way that she talks,
and expresses herself. She
really helps me to realize
that I can do all the things
that I want to do if I just
tried and didn’t give up.
Chapter
8
If we
switched places: profession
wise
I was
wondering the other day what
it would be like if Haley
and I actually switched
professions for a week. I
wondered what it would be
like if she was massaging
clients for a living and I
was singing and doing
interviews, and shows on TV
and for a live audience. I
wondered seriously what it
would be like. I mean could
you imagine Haley doing a
deep tissue massage if she
actually didn’t know how to
do one? Could you imagine
Haley taking the national
Certification exam? Spending
hours trying to figure out
the impossible questions
that they ask you that even
puzzle us as massage
therapists. Could you
imagine her working at
Elizabeth Arden in Chevy
Chase and doing all of these
Cream and Sugar Scrubs and
Seaweed Wraps and putting up
with all the General
Managers and clients they
provide you with? It would
be interesting.
Then I
wondered what would it be
like if I sang in front of
Paula, Randy, and Simon
during American Idol
auditions in San Antonio.
Wearing that exact same
outfit that she did and
having it been admired by
Paula Abdul. Then telling
her that I got it at one of
those hutchie stores. That
would be too funny. Then
Singing I cant make you love
me by Bonnie Rait. I
imagined myself going
through to Hollywood week
and performing for my life
in front of the judges. I
imagined sitting in a room
with all of the other
contestants waiting to see
what the verdict was. Did I
make through? Or am I going
home? I imagined hearing all
of the criticism from the
media and them saying things
like she’s no good why is
she here? And she should go
home and learn to sing and a
lot of other mean words. I
imagined hearing Simon’s
remarks about how I don’t
have a chance against the
other contestants and my
legs and outfit are the only
reason I have made it this
far. I imagined the fans and
everyday people coming up to
me and telling me things I
either wanted to hear or
really dreaded hearing. I
imagined what it would be
like to sing day after day
on tour with the rest of the
top ten contestants. I
imagined how tiring it must
be and how sometimes you
just long for your own space
to think and relax once in a
while. I imagined getting
into arguments with the rest
of the contestants even
though I love them all very
much. I imagined the
everyday crap and the
everyday world of Haley and
what she feels like when
she’s stressed or angry.
What she does to relax, what
she feels like when people
talk spit. I just imagined
me in her shoes. All the
media and the nonsense that
they can deliver about this
girl, sometimes I want to go
up to those people and say
how would you like it if
someone talked about you the
way that you talk about
Haley? Just think about.
Really what would you do?
How do you think she would
take that kind of criticism
from other clients? Would
she take it personally or
would she try to improve
upon it next time? I wonder.
Why don’t you take my place,
and I can take yours. Live
your life through my old
tennis shoes, and I live my
life through your old Texas
black boots. Let’s see what
happens. So tell me
something, do you like it,
do like to rub them muscles
down with your hands. Its
amazing, how energy can flow
around a room and send you
to the moon oh yes it is.
Make you feel like you are
floating or going to the
bottom of the ocean. Oh
those hands, they really do
something. So tell me
something, do you like it?,
do like to rub them muscles
down with your hands? It’s
amazing, how the energy can
flow around a room and send
you flying to the moon oh
yes it is. Makes you feel
like you are floating or
going to the bottom of the
ocean. So tell me something
do you like it? What
would she do? I have to ask
her. I know its not her
dream job and I know she
would probably never trade
in what she does for a
career in massage therapy. I
think what she does now is a
lifelong dream of hers, and
that is that. She enjoys
singing and enjoys now the
fact that she has gotten
exposure through American
Idol. As she put it its
every singers dream to be on
American Idol. Something
that doesn’t happen
everyday, and she has been
working towards that goal
her whole life. I have been
working towards my goals
such as becoming a Massage
Therapist, and on the side,
writing books and cook, and
keep my body fit and
healthy. I have to make a
living doing what I’m doing
and she has to make a living
doing what she’s doing. Not
to say that she shouldn’t
keep her body fit and
healthy because that’s
important in life. You don’t
want to get sick so the more
you take care of yourself
the better. But she would
never trade it in for the
world not even to be the
Queen of Canada. I wonder
what if Haley ever had a
last minute call when she
was working as a freelance
singer. I wonder if it
stressed her out to have to
get up, get dressed, and
leave just to be in time for
the show. I wonder if she
had any gigs that ended on a
really sour note. I wonder
whether or not people hated
the performance that she
gave them so much it caused
them to throw tomatoes at
her. I really wonder if any
thing like that ever
happened to her. I wonder if
she got last minute calls on
a Saturday morning half a
sleep and with a sleepy
voice, said hello, and the
voice on the phone was
really hyper kind of like my
boss at Elizabeth Arden
Chevy Chase. The type of
person who calls you at
7:00am, and has already had
3 cups of coffee and with an
excited voice saying: oh
my god I need you to come in
tonight the lead singer of
the other band broke his leg
and he cant make it can you
come in? Oh please it’s a
sold out show its going to
be great!! As the guy or
gal is talking her poor head
is spinning round and round
and she’s getting nervous
just thinking about it. I
really wonder… do you think
its happened to her before?
I guess in so many ways I
learned so much from her.
How to settle things with a
smile on your face. Like
tonight for example: I had
forgotten that I was
scheduled for a massage this
evening. And when I called
this morning the
receptionist said, oh there
is no one on the books for
you today. Low and behold
however, the receptionist
who works the later shift
called me and said Gitta
where the heck are you? You
have a massage now. I said
what? I called this
afternoon and was told that
I had no one on my schedule
today. So this girl right
here, yours truly, throws on
some clothes and runs town
to the Spa and realizes
after talking to the lady
for 5 minutes that I did in
fact talk to her the week
before. I felt so bad but
thank god all went well. In
that way Haley has shown me
how to look at things in a
totally different light. How
to realize that when
situations like that occur
it is in fact no reason to
raise the roof and get angry
but simply to find a
solution to the problem. She
also makes me want to be
much more ambitious and
really work hard at
something and give it 100%
each time. She makes me want
to see my job in completely
different eyes than I used
to. Even in times where I
feel that there will be
mounts of criticism from
people and remarks such as
oh the massage wasn’t what I
expected at all. I expected
more from this Massage
Therapist and I didn’t get
it at all. Well the problem
might have been that we just
didn’t click as client and
practitioner. That might
have been the problem. Or
that expressing to me what I
could have done differently
rather than complaining that
you didn’t really benefit
from it is not the right
route to go. I usually try
and tell people this before
the massage begins but like
many folks they usually
don’t listen so I try and
remind them, in a nice way,
and sometimes when I do it
helps. There are so many
reasons why she has given me
the strength to carry on in
my life, when there are
times when I feel like
giving up on myself. I
remember when I was in hotel
school, and I would take
tests, and then receive the
grad back. And let me tell
you, I wanted so badly to
give up on myself at that
point in time. I felt as
though I was the stupidest
person on the planet. The
unsmart one, the one that
needed the most help with
everything because I felt as
though I was no good
anymore. At that point, I
wish I would have known
Haley then. She would have
been an awesome friend to
have. She really would let
me know what she thought of
the situation at hand and
tell me that you know if you
want something go for it.
But if its going to kill you
then don’t do it. I realize
that now at this point in
time. She is my hero more
than ever at this point in
time. My hero because she
really showed me what I was
capable of doing with my
life if I just tried. She
may not know it right now,
but she will soon I hope.
Chapter 9
The Bad Raps
We both received… not fair
that bad things happen to
good people.
Well… I think
she’s great and that’s all
that matters. To me she is
more than a pretty face, a
nice pair of legs, and a
sweet smile. She is someone
that I think has really
taken every opportunity for
what its worth and made
something out of herself. I
have learned to do the same
thing, even though I
sometimes fail miserably
when trying to make the best
out of every opportunity.
But things happen for a
reason. Like for example: I
had started working at
Elizabeth Arden Tyson’s
corner for what would have
been a year in November. But
things turned out
differently and not due to
my efforts, but instead on
the managers, who thought I
had not treated a client
with respect when I fact it
was the other way around, he
had not treated me with
respect. So because of this
incident, the manager fires
me and realizes that since I
stand up for myself I am not
good enough for her numbers
and her way into receiving
her bonuses. It’s kind of
like when Haley was on
American Idol’s top 24
girls. People thought, why
is she singing on this
stage? She didn’t deserve to
go past Hollywood week but
now that she’s here, let’s
start humors. I read a blog
once which I found most
stupid I will now care to
mention it. It stated ,
but I don’t quote but this
is the basic description of
it, why Haley is so worried
about making such a great
image and trying so hard to
be a great role model to
kids and adults when she
herself is no saint, I mean
she lived with a married man
for 6 months while his wife
was pregnant with their
second child. I tell
you, so what if that’s true,
everyone has skeletons in
their closet and that
doesn’t make her a bad
person, I mean we all make
mistakes. Let the poor girl
in peace and don’t make
remarks that may not even be
true at the end. I think
sometimes what I would do if
people said those things
about me and I was famous. I
would probably laugh even
though I know that inside it
kind of hurts. And if
someone had the balls to
come up to me and tell me to
my face that I sucked I
would be hurt to but I would
try to laugh about it. I
remember someone saying
those very words to me
except it was stated in a
more polite format. When I
was working as a Massage
Therapist at my massage
therapy school’s
professional clinic. I had
one of my not so good days,
and struggled to get through
each and every massage that
day. Anyhow, it didn’t help
that a not so nice woman
came to me for a massage.
First and foremost, I cried
during the whole session and
every time I massaged her
shoulders all she said was
ouch and I wasn’t even
putting a lot of pressure on
her shoulders. Anyhow,
excuse me for saying this
but this fat stupid man less
woman who had nothing better
to do with her time but
complain and went as far as
writing a letter to the
clinic manager who himself
was a sorry excuse for a
human being and thrived on
making me and everyone else
miserable. Anyhow, the woman
wrote a letter, and in it,
she stated basically that I
didn’t exceed her
expectations. She thought I
was so awful that she
wondered how any
establishment could keep
such an awful person. Well
bitch for 25 dollars an hour
I would leave this shit
whole and go somewhere where
people actually didn’t shit
all over you as often
because they simply wanted
their money back. Well I
guess Haley would probably
say you know what it hurts,
but you have to brush it off
if and move on. Like when
Simon commented during the
top 24 performance after she
sang It’s All Coming Back
To Me Now, saying that
she sounded and looked like
40. I thought well, I think
she sounded good, and that
her outfit was classy and
her hair looked beautiful.
There was really no reason
to say that she looked old,
I mean just because she
wasn’t wearing a bikini and
heels doesn’t make her look
40. Or she could have always
stated the statement that
was used by Lakisha Jones
after her Diamonds Are
Forever performance during
the top 11. Simon said that
she looked and sounded like
Lakisha in 20 years and
Lakisha’s response was: well
if I look like this in 20
years then I think I would
look good. I thought to
myself Haley instead of
saying I am staying true to
myself line, you should have
said that instead. If I
looked like this at 40 I
would be one hot mama and
you would be. And if that
put down wasn’t enough,
there would be more to
follow, after the top 16
performances, all 12
contestants competed for a
place in the top 12. Each of
the predicted individuals
got there spot, but when it
came down to Haley and
Sabrina Sloan, it was
tension from the time they
got up on that stage to
announce the verdict. Being
great friends it was taught
for them to say goodbye to
each other, but they knew
that deep down that one of
them was going to go home.
Everyone was waiting, and
waiting. After about 10
seconds the verdict was
called. Ryan Seacrest called
it: he said Haley, you have
made it into the top 12.
Haley started crying, and
Sabrina and her began to
engage in a long embrace.
Once every person in America
found out that Haley had
made it into the top 12, the
press was having a field
day. First, most blogs and
the idiots on it wrote
things like, she cant sing,
Sabrina so should have made
it not her. They made
statements about the only
thing that would go far
would be her mole. So many
statements that really
weren’t necessary at all and
all in a attempt to make her
look really bad. Why did she
get such a bad rap? Why
didn’t people believe that
she was talented? Well,
because they just do
anything to make someone
they really don’t want
somewhere look bad. I have
had plenty of bad raps from
people because they really
didn’t know who I was and
what I was about. For
example when I liked someone
at work and made a lame
attempt at getting their
attention by calling them 10
times a day, which
eventually got the attention
of one of the managers.
After that conversation with
the manager I figured things
were fine, up until I went
back to work and I heard
from the manager that this
person got so wigged out by
me she couldn’t bare to stay
there any longer she had to
run away. I don’t blame the
poor kid for being scared of
me or for that matter
uncomfortable. And the fact
that they didn’t want to
have anything to do with me
anymore was also
understandable. But just for
the record I am in no way
the kind of person who is a
stalker, or a person who
steals, lies, or takes
drugs. I come from a good
family and never would even
think of doing those things.
So if whatever his face was
wanted to think those things
about me, then that’s just
fine. I guess I feel the way
Haley felt when rumors
spread around that she was
going out with another
contestant and at the time
was engaged. I think the
important thing is here,
that she sits down with
herself and gives herself
one of those long hard pep
talks on what she really
wants out of her life. I
feel that if she does that,
things will definitely sort
out for her. The same way I
need to sit down with myself
and give myself a long pep
talk and ask myself the
question, what is it that I
really want out of life?
What do I see myself doing
in 10 years? Is the person
that I broke up with the
person that I will
eventually marry? Or is he
or she out of the picture?
Those are the discisions
that she will have to make
and so will I. It’s probably
one of the hardest things to
do but one of the easiest
things to say. In that way I
feel that we have shared
something special, that we
both sometimes really don’t
know what we want out of
life. And we wish we did
know everything that we
possibly could know about
relationships, people,
careers, and more. That
takes reflecting on ones
life and that is something
that we both need to do at
this time. So in that sense
Haley has taught me how to
realize that if I have a
problem I obviously need to
try and help me figure out
ways of dealing with
whatever it is that is going
on at that moment in time.
She has also taught me to
see that just because you
are in the public eye,
doesn’t mean that you are
the perfect image of every
fans fantasy. When in fact
the truth is, you are only a
person and have a couple
screws loose just like the
rest of us. No one is ever
perfect, and I don’t want
her to think that that is
what I want from a person
who has inspired my life, I
would rather have someone
with character floss and
have us be able to support
each other the best we can
to improve on those
character floss. So with
that said, here is a song
that I hold close to my
heart that represents all of
this… the song is called
Thankful By: Caedmon’s Call
“You know I
ran across an old box of
letters
While I was bagging up some clothes for Goodwill
But you Know I had to laugh at the same old struggles
That plagued me then are plaguing me still
I know the road is long from the ground to glory
But a boy can hope he's getting some place
But you see, I'm running from the very clothes I'm wearing
And dressed like this I'm fit for the chase
'Cause no, there is none righteous
Not one who understands
There is none who seek God
No not one, I said no not one
So I am thankful that I'm incapable
Of doing any good on my own
'Cause we're all stillborn and dead in our transgressions
We're shackled up to the sin we hold so dear
So what part can I play in the work of redemption
I can't refuse, I cannot add a thing
'Cause we're all stillborn and dead in our transgressions
We're shackled up to the sin we hold so dear
So what part can I play in the work of redemption
I can't refuse, I cannot add a thing
'Cause I am just like Lazarus and I can hear your voice
I stand and rub my eyes and walk to You
Because I have no choice
I am thankful that I'm incapable
Of doing any good on my own
I'm so thankful that I'm incapable
Of doing any good on my own
'Cause by grace I have been saved
While I was bagging up some clothes for Goodwill
But you Know I had to laugh at the same old struggles
That plagued me then are plaguing me still
I know the road is long from the ground to glory
But a boy can hope he's getting some place
But you see, I'm running from the very clothes I'm wearing
And dressed like this I'm fit for the chase
'Cause no, there is none righteous
Not one who understands
There is none who seek God
No not one, I said no not one
So I am thankful that I'm incapable
Of doing any good on my own
'Cause we're all stillborn and dead in our transgressions
We're shackled up to the sin we hold so dear
So what part can I play in the work of redemption
I can't refuse, I cannot add a thing
'Cause we're all stillborn and dead in our transgressions
We're shackled up to the sin we hold so dear
So what part can I play in the work of redemption
I can't refuse, I cannot add a thing
'Cause I am just like Lazarus and I can hear your voice
I stand and rub my eyes and walk to You
Because I have no choice
I am thankful that I'm incapable
Of doing any good on my own
I'm so thankful that I'm incapable
Of doing any good on my own
'Cause by grace I have been saved
Through faith
that's not my own
It is a gift of God and not by works
Lest anyone should boast”
It is a gift of God and not by works
Lest anyone should boast”
Haley
obviously knows this all
full well but if you are not
reminded once in a while,
especially in a line of work
such as the one you are in,
then you will find yourself
angry and upset if you
cannot reach a goal that
everyone around you wants
you to reach. But deep down
inside, you are reaching
that goal, you are just
running on your own track
and that’s fine. No one
should ask you to run on
their track with them,
because that is just not
you. You go at a different
pace than others, and yes
you want to make sure your
career goes on the fast up
and up but if you run in
someone else’s track and try
to exceed their expectations
and goals then you are bound
for sadness and misery. So
with this said, maybe I
should follow my own advice
too when it comes to my
career? I guess she’s at a
different place than I am
but we share the joy of
helping each other work
through whatever issues that
we need to work through. We
should always remind each
other that we cannot ride
the same track but instead
support each other in any
way possible to reach
whatever personal goals we
have set. I feel that way
with Haley even though I
don’t even know her. I feel
so connected to her in a way
that is hard to describe.
But let me explain in how
many other ways she has
influenced and taught me
things. She has shown me how
to be brave, brave to
withstand any situation that
I might find unpleasant and
try to make the best out of
it that I possibly can. She
also taught me not to allow
myself to compete with other
people even though I still
find myself doing that at
times when I am down. She
has taught me that life is
short, that if you don’t
grab the opportunities that
are given to you, you will
regret it. She taught me
that no ones perfect, that
each of us are given special
talents that we are blessed
with and obstacles that we
need to over come. Also that
there will always be someone
out there that’s better than
you but you need to keep on
going, if you want something
so badly. She is right you
know. Other areas that I
feel she has brought a
different perspective to me,
include the way I look at
famous people, I now don’t
see them as robots walking
around trying to cause
trouble but instead human
beings that are trying their
best just like everyone else
to live their lives and make
it in their professions. She
has taught me that I am only
human and that I can’t make
every single person fall in
love with my massages that I
give them. It’s just
impossible to do. She also
taught me that it’s time
that I except myself, I am
never going to be someone
else because that isn’t who
I am, I am me and every good
and bad part of me should
never be taken for granted.
She has made me aware of so
many things, and I feel
grateful to her for it. I
have had this amazing
experience almost everyday
since I found out about her.
I have been inspired to
enjoy her successes and morn
her losses. I have read
blogs and various other
comments in which I didn’t
agree with sometimes but
others I did. There are so
many things which I think
people assume after hearing
all of this that I have some
kind of a thing for her
meaning a crush or
something. The truth is
there is a little bit of a
crush in my heart for her
but it really isn’t the type
of crush that you might
think it is. It’s more a
whole a lot of more feelings
that are gathered up inside
my heart and develop into
this longing of wanting to
always be a dedicated fan,
and love her as a friend who
will need my support as long
as she feels the need to
receive support from me.
Even when things went sour
with her fiancé, I didn’t
allow it to change my
feelings for her. I didn’t
allow myself to get to
involved because it really
wasn’t my place to. I just
knew that she needed a
loving and caring fan that
will always stand by her no
matter what kind choices she
makes in life. And I for one
stand by her regardless. She
is my hero without having
set any world records,
without having written a new
York times best selling
book, without swimming the
English Channel, without
running for president of the
united States, without
saving world hunger, without
winning the Nobel peace
prize, and without having
her name in the Guinness
book of world records. To me
she really doesn’t need to
do all the that to be
considered by inspiration,
she just needs to stay who
she is and be the best
person that she knows how to
be.
Chapter 10
The American
Idol Live Tour: So This Girl
Can Do Country. Why Didn’t
We See That Before?
During the
American Idol Live Tour, I
didn’t think that the
producers really gave Haley
that much of a chance to
shine on her own. However,
the one thing that they were
able to prove to America was
that she in fact can sing.
She has quite the voice for
country music and they
really helped change
people’s minds when it came
to the whole reputation that
she developed while on idol
for only being considered
the sexy one of the group
with great legs. I was glad
about that. I was glad that
people saw her as a serious
singer and recording artist.
Someone that people will
have respect for rather than
look down on. But I feel
that regardless of what
others think, Haley is able
to look passed all that
because she knows what she
wants in life for the most
part. I wish I could say the
same for myself. I mean I
sort of know what I want
from life, but sometimes all
the things I want are really
unrealistic. Like for
example: I just began taking
singing lessons and already
I expect myself to sound
like a pro. Hello my dear
these things don’t happen
over night. You really need
to work on them and as you
work on them they will
improve and you will
eventually grow. So as I see
it I am still in infant when
it comes to learning how to
sing, I am just learning how
to say words, and phrases,
and notice things. And after
a while, I will grow to be a
toddler and so on and so
forth. So my point is, it’s
a gradual process not a
speedy one. The same with
Haley, she’s a great singer
but she still has room for
improvement, and that will
come within time. It’s also
like massage, I have still a
lot of room for growth that
I am sure will take a
lifetime to achieve
perfection but I am willing
to wait that long. I am sure
Haley is as well, she knows
that whatever happens its
all up to the big guy.
Chapter 11
San Antonio
Living Interview and
Performance
Just the
other day, Haley was
interviewed on San Antonio
Living by a very sweet woman
whose name unfortunately I
forgot. Anyhow, she was
talking about life after
idol and all of the
wonderful things that she
was up to. To start off with
she mentioned the bit about
the tour and what a
wonderful experience it was
to go out there and perform
for all her fans each night.
She also mentioned the
bounding that the
contestants developed during
their time on the show and
during the tour. Haley then
talked about what it was
like being on American idol.
She said that it was the
best experience that she
ever had but she was also
nervous almost all the time.
The reason being that they
put you on this freezing
cold stage, expect you to
perform your best, and if
that’s not enough, they do
everything in their power to
create a somewhat
uncomfortable feeling inside
of you that leads to pre
singing jitters. She said. I
have never been nervous in
my life, but I was nervous
when I sang in front of the
American Idol audience and
the audience at home. It was
just nerve racking. That
American Idol tries to throw
everything that they
possibly can at you in order
to put you in an
uncomfortable situation but
at the same time prepare you
for the real world of
entertainment. The other
thing that she mentioned was
the clothes of course, the
outfits, the reasons why she
wore what she wore and it
was simple. It was because
during top 24 Simon
mentioned more than once
that she looked like forty,
that everything about the
performance was old, that he
doesn’t even remember her
name and all this other
stuff. So with that all
said, she figured, I guess I
better do something more
trendy. This led her to go
shopping with her stylist
and pick out practically
every item of clothing that
was “trendy”. Most of the
stuff that was out there of
course was short, so
naturally she picked the
trendy short stuff. But if
that gets you noticed
especially on a show like
that, then I guess you have
to do what you have to do
but its sad though. She is a
really great singer, and